Sometimes, we need to show kindness to ourselves.
When the weather is warm, I take my dogs to Lake Michigan to swim. In the winter, we hike up the tall, windy sand dunes to enjoy the panoramic view of the lake and surrounding area. After a beach day, the dogs always track sand into the car—and I end up with sand in my shoes! Even after a thorough vacuuming, grains of sand cling stubbornly to the carpet and hide in the crevices. I can wash my feet with soap and water, yet I still find bits of sand between my toes later, ending up on the floor or in my bed.
It reminds me of how the consequences of sin cling to our lives.
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8–9).
I often see this lived out among people in prison. Many continue to apologize to their families—sometimes years after arriving. It’s understandable. Each day, they live with the effects of their past choices. Some try to maintain relationships through a single weekly phone call, even as their children grow up without them. Freedom from guilt can feel out of reach.
But I often encourage them to move beyond constant apologies. If someone has acknowledged the harm they caused, apologized, and asked for forgiveness, the next step is to walk in repentance. Repentance is the fruit of real heart change.
“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance” (Matthew 3:8).
Even so, some consequences remain outside our control. Our students must still serve their sentences. We can’t force someone to forgive us or restore a relationship. It’s important not to be consumed by what we cannot fix. If we are living prayerfully and honestly within God’s will, we can choose to be kind to ourselves and not live in a constant state of apology or guilt.
Here are a few comforting truths from Scripture that remind us of that freedom:
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).
You are made intentionally and uniquely in God’s image. Hold on to that truth with confidence.
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
Your past does not define you. You are made new in Christ and have the strength to keep going.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26).
In your struggles and weakness, you are not alone. The Holy Spirit is praying for you.
It’s a reminder for all of us: Be kind to yourself. Let go of what you can’t control. And in doing so, receive this peace:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).
I still try to keep my car clean, but I’ve made peace with the sand. I put a blanket down to catch most of it and keep the dogs in the back. I knock sand out of my shoes as best I can. Sand, like sin, clings to everything—but Christ’s forgiveness clings even more tightly to our hearts and souls.
Offer the Gift of Encouragement
Your words could be the reminder someone needs: You are not forgotten. You are deeply loved.
Become a mentor and offer hope through the power of Scripture.