“We’re leaving!”
The two men exited the classroom without making eye contact. They said they had a scheduled video call with family and a basketball game. My wife Hendrina and I weren’t surprised.
The class we lead at a local prison focuses on developing character traits and learning how to apply them in everyday life. Technically, leaving the classroom once inside isn’t allowed. Still, it’s not uncommon for someone to miss a few sessions—usually due to disciplinary issues that result in lost privileges.
Thankfully, we have a core group of participants who remain committed and engaged. And that day, after the two men left, the conversation deepened.
Some participants opened up about how a lack of commitment had affected their past—and how choosing to follow through on obligations now brings peace and stability. One man shared, “The only thing I can control in life is how I respond to life.” He paused, then added thoughtfully, “The offending factor is the mind.”
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:5, NIV)
In our class, we’ve explored traits like persuasiveness instead of hostility, alertness instead of carelessness, dependability instead of inconsistency, and boldness instead of cowardice. These character traits are all rooted in integrity and commitment.
Being a person of integrity means choosing honesty (Proverbs 12:22), following a moral compass (Psalm 119:105), and honoring your commitments—even when it’s hard.
Traits like compassion, generosity, and truthfulness flow from a heart grounded in integrity. What’s in our hearts and minds eventually shows up in our actions.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
If you’re writing to someone—whether they’re in prison or facing a personal challenge—consider encouraging them to reflect on the value of being consistent and dependable every day. Ask them: What does it mean to be trustworthy? How do they live out honesty and commitment in their relationships—with family, friends, and in their community?
You might also invite them to consider how Jesus approached people—with compassion, purpose, and integrity.
“Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)
Leading these discussions on character traits reminds me that I, too, have “offending factors in my mind.” I’m still growing. I’m still learning.
And I’ve decided to stay in the class.
I hope you’ll stay with me.
Stay in the Conversation.
Whether you’re mentoring someone, writing letters, or simply reflecting on your own journey, integrity matters. Encourage the people in your life to follow through, even when it’s difficult. Let’s keep showing up—for each other and for the work of transformation.
Learn more about mentoring through Crossroads.
Doug Cupery is the director of church engagement at Crossroads Prison Ministries. With a background in pastoral ministry and a heart for restorative justice, Doug leads outreach efforts that connect churches and volunteers with opportunities to walk alongside men and women behind bars. He believes transformation happens through consistent, grace-filled relationships rooted in the hope of the Gospel.